If I were Timothy, this would be my letter to Paul

Paul, here’s a reply from me to you…

You’ve always been like a father to me, you know that, but to hear you call me ‘my true son in the faith’ had me close to tears! I count it such a privilege for you to regard me in this way. You’ve brought so many men and women to faith in the one true God and I am nothing special.

I’m amazed you wrote to me, just to me! I know how much it takes out of you to compile these letters. Thank you so much. You say it’s by command of God so I guess you felt called to write to me and I need to thank God for knowing that I really needed some encouragement. Receiving a letter from you has really boosted me.

Being away from you is hard. It can be lonely and sometimes, I’m unsure I’m doing the right thing or doing what you would do. We’ve spent so much time travelling and working together that it’s tough when you’re not there.

Jesus is my hope: it is he who gives me the confidence to carry out this work. It is only his grace, mercy and peace that keep me going at times. Taking a moment to reflect on those three words – grace, mercy and peace – is a great help in itself. Grace – a reminder that I have done nothing to deserve this new life in Christ. Mercy – a reminder that I need to show mercy and forgiveness to others, as God has shown mercy and forgiveness to me. Peace – a reminder that God has everything in hand and I have no need to worry. It’s easy to take these gifts from God for granted, but at the end of the day, these things are sometimes all we have.

So thank you: just a few lines in and I’m feeling better already!

Paul, I know why you’re asking me to stay on in this place, but boy, is this a huge ask?!? You know how hard it is here. You’ve seen it with your own eyes. It must have been hard to leave this mess behind and leave me to somehow try to sort it all out. I really didn’t want you to leave, you must have known that, but I understand why you had to go. You have work to carry out elsewhere – a mission, a calling from God. But this is so hard for me, so hard, and most of the time, I really don’t feel up to the task.

I wouldn’t say I’m a natural born leader like you are. These people are older and wiser than me. They know so much about how the faith was established and meant to be carried out. I feel intimidated by their certainty and knowledge. It’s hard to stand up against them and speak the truth. You use the word ‘command’ – I can’t see myself commanding anyone to do anything! But they are muddying the waters, that’s for sure. There are so many conflicting teachings floating around, the believers are confused about what to think. There’s a lot of talk – a LOT of talk! – but not much evidence of love in action, which is what we’re all about, right? It’s so easy to get drawn into these debates and forget that love is at the centre of all we believe.

Culturally, this is a tough city to be in! So many people abusing and exploiting other people. So much violence and hatred. The law serves to expose everyone who is not living by it – and sometimes, that feels like pretty much everyone in this place! All I can do is cling on to the teaching you shared with me from God about God – that is all that counts.

I’d love you to give me permission to leave here, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon, is it? So I’ll keep clinging to the love and hope and faith I find in the one true God. That’s all I can do.

I always find it weird when you talk about what you were like before you came to recognise the truth about Jesus, Paul. I didn’t know you back in the day. I’ve always known you like this. It’s impossible for me to imagine that you were once an enemy of people like us – that you hated and persecuted the followers of the Way…what a turnaround! it just goes to show that with God, nothing is impossible.

Jesus changed your life in a miraculous way, that’s for sure. You must feel so bad for who you were back then and the grace and mercy and love of God must have a special meaning for you. You know deep in your heart that Jesus came to save anyone and everyone, because you were precisely the kind of individual that people would imagine would be beyond saving! You are an incredible example of what God can do in a life.

Just thinking about how God changed you is such an encouragement and does indeed remind me of how incredible God is. What a God we serve! And we get to do this forever!

Paul, I can see what you’re doing here but yes, you’re right, it’s good to be reminded of how all this started out. You must have seen something in me, I guess, to allow me to travel with you and learn from you. You then entrusted me with the work that needed to be done. And it was God at work in all of that: God who called me and equipped me.

I’m so caught up in all that is going on around here, it’s easy to lose sight of all of that. Every moment of every day feels like a battle right now. All I can say is that I am holding on to the faith to which I have been called; I am doing my best; I will not give up.

It’s so heart-wrenching to see those who started out so well in the faith falling away. I don’t understand how you can have a glimpse of how your life can be miraculously transformed by the one true God and then turn away, back to the way things were, back to the way you were. And some of those are the ones who reject the teaching most aggressively now – like they feel they need to defend their choice to reject the good news by proving it to be untrue and crazy…

What you don’t say here, Paul, but I couldn’t go on without believing, is this: there is always a way back. I have such a strong affection for these people and need to live in the hope that they will come back to the truth. I will keep doing what I am doing so that I am here when they change their minds. For nothing is impossible with God: that’s what you keep telling me and that’s what gets me out of bed each morning.

Oh my word, Paul, this is pretty strong teaching! I can already imagine the response of some of the believers to these words, particularly some of the women! to be honest, I struggle quite a bit with what you are saying here too.

I get it. I get that something has got to be done. When we meet together as a big group for prayer and teaching, it’s a shambles: people muttering, chattering, even shouting out across the whole room. The prayers can be rambling and a way to air grievances even. There is no order and not a great deal of respect and it’s hard for the teacher to make themselves heard and to get the message across.  We’re finding our way as a community of believers, I admit that. All this is still so new. The Jewish believers are used to doing things a certain way, the Gentiles another; the women are not used to be allowed into the worship setting at all! Our vision is to move on from the rules that shackled us and held us back in worship, but this freedom has gone to their heads and now it’s a mess.

OK, so let’s have a look. Prayer. This comes down to balance, doesn’t it. Making sure that we pray all kinds of different prayers and not get caught up in one type of prayer and ignore all the rest. And we have to have a wider view of who to pray for too: not just ourselves and the people we care about but all people everywhere, even those we don’t like or who are exerting authority over us. Who out there doesn’t need prayer? Everyone does! God wants all of us to be saved and we are all equal before God, regardless of our status here on earth. We need to find a way to let every voice be raised in prayer, but in a way that is respectful to each other so that each prayer can be heard. For what is the point in praying if the men are fighting and disagreeing over who prays next?

As for the women, I’m not about to dictate to them how they should dress for worship. I guess I need to get across the message that this is not a party or social gathering : it’s not about dressing to impress. Again, it’s about finding the right balance. No one, including the men, should be dressing to draw attention to themselves, to show off. We gather to worship God, not each other. Neither should we draw attention to ourselves by being scruffy, like we’ve made no effort to prepare ourselves for worship at all!

We’ve come along way in how we view and treat the women among us, but we still have a long way to go. Women are no longer treated as possessions or objects in our company of believers, but we’re having to take baby steps towards allowing women to take part in our formal gatherings. Can you imagine the riot if a woman stood up to teach? There’d be compete chaos! Some of these men are not ready for that yet? I know this is something you have a real issue with too, Paul. God created men and women in a certain order with certain roles for a reason. I get that. But you should meet and chat with some of the women here, Paul – their wisdom blows me away. Their faith and love and hope are a shining example to all of us. We have to find a way to allow them to express their opinions and questions and perspective – but you’re right, the main meetings are not a place for that right now.

Carrying a child is a wonderful gift that women have, something that men can never understand fully or share in. Becoming a mother is a beautiful thing. And I can see how this experience can bring a woman closer to God. But this can’t be the only way for a woman to be saved. That isn’t what you’re saying here, is it? What about those women who cannot have children? Is God really going to exclude them from His kingdom? I think not!

What I draw from what you’re saying is that we all need to act with respect for others – men and women alike. We should be careful not to challenge or undermine authority, but should show respect. We should allow others to speak without interruption. We should all work for peace and not stir up arguments. We should all make love, faith and holiness a priority in our lives. And we should always remember that we gather to worship God, not each other.

What do you think of what I’ve said? I’d be interested to hear your opinion!

Oh Paul, if only you knew what a tough issue you’ve touched on here. Well, I guess you do in a way, otherwise you wouldn’t have written these instructions in such a clear way! I look forward to passing them on to the leaders here and discussing them with them. I’ll let you know how that goes.

As the number of believers keeps growing, the more leaders we need. And the more leaders we have, the more issues there are! People are flattered to be asked to stand as a leader in our fellowship and some even put themselves forward. Some like all the glory and power, but not so much the responsibilities the role comes with.

The original elders talk about that time you sent for them to come meet with you in Miletus and urged them to be good shepherds of the flock here in Ephesus. It’s so easy to lose sight of what that means in practice though. It’s not about lording it over everyone and demanding respect, is it? It’s about living a life worthy of respect. There’s a big difference.

How can you expect respect when your personal life is a shambles? When even your own family take no notice of what you say? To be honest, if I listed all the requirements you set out here as obligatory, I’m not sure I’d have any overseers and deacons left!

I don’t think people realise what a huge responsibility and honour it is to be a role model to all these new believers. And how damaging it is then to be a bad role model.

Just imagine if every follower of the Way aspired to this standard of living as a follower of Christ. It would solve a lot of problems in our community right there! If every believer could hold onto the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience, living a life that demonstrated faithfulness and self control and respect for others, how different life would be!

And by including the women here, you show that this standard of behaviour is not just for the leaders, it’s for all believers. Every single one of us, including me, has a responsibility and privilege to live as a role model for others. You’ve always been comfortable with telling others to imitate you, because you know with a clear conscience that you are living that life worthy of respect that you talk about.

Could any of these leaders say ‘Imitate me’ with such confidence?

Could I for that matter?

Is anyone here ready to take on that challenge?

I can see how you are fully aware of the situation here, of how sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and too young to be dealing with all this. That you have faith in me and what I’m doing here means so much. When I feel completely out of my depth, I’ll try to remember the words of encouragement you’ve written here. I want nothing more than to be a good minister of Christ Jesus, I hope you know that. Sometimes though, it’s just so hard to know where to start!

I can hear your answer in my head – start with God! I have to start with my own spiritual journey, training in how to be godly, so that when people look at me, they see an example of how to live life God’s way. With a firm hope in the living God, I can allow the truths of the faith to ‘nourish’ me – nice word! I like that. How old I am makes no difference at all. It is my life that will speak volumes and earn respect. It may not feel like it most of the time, but God has given me a gift, equipped me to do this work, and I have to nurture that gift and use it.

There are so many clever, articulate, skilful people here who are drawing others in with false interpretations of the message. They present so well and promise so much that I’m not surprised that some believers are taken in. They come up with rules about how to live that are far from God’s truth. They attempt to draw a line between what is sacred and what is not, what is of God and what is not. And yet, you’re right: God created all things and saw that it was good. Everything belongs to God. He is in it all.

Everything is spiritual.

Well, Paul, you certainly have a way with words. I guess you’ve been around a long time and have plenty of experience of what can go wrong. You’ve see the freeloaders and the groups of believers where there really is not enough resource to go round.

All this sounds pretty tough at first reading, so I’m going to go through it again and see what stands out for me to start implementing here.

Treating everyone with the respect I would show a member of my own family is a good idea. I can see that could work. It’s a good reminder of how to show the appropriate level of respect to each individual.

The widows…yes, that’s a tricky issue. When people come to us for help, it’s hard to turn anyone away. Discerning who actually needs help requires a lot of wisdom. If we provide everything, then you’re right, they can just sit around and end up gossiping…I’ll pass all these extended instructions on to the overseers. And of course, yes, it is first the responsibility of a family to care for their relatives. I think some of the members here have forgotten that.

Then the elders…we have to acknowledge that they have a special role to play in our community. They must all be treated the same with no favouritism. If there is something that needs dealing, then no one is exempt from that. We all have to be accountable for how we live our lives and how we carry out our roles.

Then me! I hear you, Paul. It is tough at times to stay on the right path. And as for wine, I’ll think about it. I feel like it’s not for me, but I get where you’re coming from.

And finally…the slaves. This all comes down to respect, doesn’t it? Anyone who has a master, in fact, is called to show them respect, even when they don’t agree with them! And even if, as part of the company of believers, they meet together as equals, that should not affect how they carry our their role.

So…respect….roles….responsibility. Those are my three ‘R’s to remember today!

You can tell a lot about a person by their attitude to money, can’t you, Paul? That seems to be what you’re saying here and I’ve certainly observed it in my work in this community of believers. If money becomes the centre of what we believe and teach and desire, then everything starts to go wrong. A love of money can be pretty subtle and can look like being responsible and prudent, but can lead to all sorts of arguments and false teachings and dissatisfaction.

For a start, some people will discount what I have to say about money, because I don’t earn a ‘proper’ wage, so what do I know? God hasn’t ‘blessed me with prosperity’, so how does my opinion count? It is those with money who support God’s work the most and that gives them the right to the strongest opinion – in their opinion! Where would we be without them? (their question, not mine). Even in our community, it’s easy to fall into the trap of respecting those with money just because of their status. And yet that is so far from what Jesus taught, isn’t it?

The good news can get warped into a prosperity gospel. It’s done with the best of intentions, to attract people to the faith. ‘Come to God and you will prosper.’ ‘God will meet all your needs – and way beyond.’ This focus on financial success and prosperity can lead to all sorts of arguments about how to get people to give more and how to spend what we have – as if those who give the most automatically have more say in how it is spent. I reckon if you asked most people what they argue most about, it would be money – in their personal relationships and in the church.

Envy is a real problem – wanting what the next person has. Constant comparison. How can you ever find contentment with what you have if you’re constantly comparing your life to someone else’s? If we can get our thinking straight about money and possessions, we can be set free from so much anxiety and dissatisfaction. Turning from grumbling to gratitude would be a great start, I know you’re strong on that.

I have enough. I have everything I need. Everything I have is God’s and of His own, do I give Him.

Imagine if we all lived with those truths embedded in our hearts…

I should expected this bit – all your letters wind up with a long list of final instructions, don’t they? I love it! There’s not beating around the bush: it’s like ‘well, before I go, here are a few more things…..BAM!’

You’re right. There is only one fight to fight. I don’t need to get caught up in petty disagreements. All I have to focus on is guarding what has been entrusted to me: the truth, the teaching, the revelation of  the one true God. I have no control over who leaves and who stays: all I can go is preach Jesus.

I don’t often feel worthy to be called ‘man of God’ – maybe none of us do. But that’s what we are, isn’t it? And if we truly took on that identity and lived fully as men and women of God, imagine what our lives would look like then! I have a feeling we’d see a lot more righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness then. I was called to this. I was born for this. To live now in the presence of the one true God with whom I will be spending eternity.

And what a God He is! What a God we serve! It’s good to be reminded of that. This God who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see, who invites us to live life to the full with Him and to join Him in the work of His kingdom here on earth – wow!

Paul, I’m going to have to work at this ‘Command’ thing. I guess you know that already and that’s why you keep repeating it! I’m not good at commanding anyone to do anything – who am I to do that? And yet as a messenger of God’s word, yes, I see that i can be a mouthpiece. His words of truth, not my mere opinion.

Finally – and this is a great place to finish my reply to you – it struck me how enjoyment is very much part of taking hold of the life that is truly life. This life is to be enjoyed to the full and the best way to do that is to live as we were created to live. The life of the believer is not to be seen as a life of deprivation and denial, far from it. It might look like that to those who believe they have the freedom to do whatever they want but in reality, how many of those people have become enslaved to the very things they pursue? Living life God’s way is to be embraced and enjoyed and I intend to do just that!

And so grace be with you too.

For it is only by grace that we are here, only by grace that we can do any of this, only by grace can we enter fully into the wonderful life that God has prepared for us.