That final week: Gethsemane

My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.  Matthew 26:38

Jesus is praying in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Sorrow is not a word we use much these days. But we know how it feels. Sorrow is ‘a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others’. In ‘The Shack’, Mack labels the great grief and sorrow he’s consumed by following the horrific kidnapping and murder of his youngest daughter ‘The Great Sadness’. It’s a physical ache, a gaping hole, a huge black, heavy cloud, a splintering of the heart into a thousand jagged pieces…

It is deep distress.

And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.  Luke 22:44

Anguish: severe mental or physical pain or suffering; agony · pain · torment · suffering · misery.

This sorrow is intense.

This anguish is severe.

This prayer is earnest.

For all that he is about to go through.

For all that he is going to leave behind.

For the whole weight of the world bearing down on his shoulders.

My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will. Matthew 26:39

My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done. Matthew 26:42

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.  Luke 22:42

This is Jesus’ prayer. This can be our only prayer.

I don’t want to face what I’m facing right now.

Yet not my will, but yours be done.

If there’s any way for me not to have to go through this, then please, take it away.

Yet not my will, but yours be done.

I’m not sure I have the strength to do what you’re asking of me.

Yet not my will, but yours be done.

I’m scared about what’s going to happen.

Yet not my will, but yours be done.

I don’t like that I can’t control this. I can’t fix it. I can’t make it go away.

Yet not my will, but yours be done.

I have no idea what you’re playing at here, but I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.

Yet not my will, but yours be done.

Not my will, but yours be done.

Some of the most powerful words to be uttered. Ever. Remember Mary when she’s told she’s going to have a baby? ‘Let it be to me according to your word’. Amazing things happen when we entrust our lives to the will of God, when we relinquish control and fully become a part of God’s plan for the universe.

Some of the most difficult words to be uttered too. Relinquishing control is not in our nature as humans. We have that fiercely independent streak that thinks it knows best, that urges us to do it our own way and do it alone. It’s a protective, survival kind of thing that makes it hard to trust and hard to obey. Handing control of our lives and our future over to God is supremely difficult and yet in the letting go, we find the truth that having control of our own lives was an illusion all along and that there is freedom and joy to be found in the letting go.

Being in that place of sorrow, when you feel like your heart is being broken apart inside your chest, can feel dark and lonely and very scary. And yet Jesus was not alone. And we can take heart from this too. We are never alone, however alone we feel. God has promised to never leave us or abandon us.

God is there with Jesus. Jesus is talking to him, baring his soul to Him, being completely honest about what he is feeling and thinking. We can pray that way too.

An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. Luke 22:43

We may say we’ve never seen an angel, but what about all those times that we’ve received an inexplicable strength and comfort? What about all those times when we hear or read just the right words of encouragement at just the right time? What about all those times when a stranger’s act of kindness restores our soul? What about all those times when someone brings us just what we need just when we need it? I believe in angels like these, messengers and messages from God to remind us that He is with us and has got our back.

And then Jesus had his followers with him. Imperfect as they were, they were there. He needed nothing from them, other than that they were there.

Sit here while I go over there and pray. Matthew 26:36

He would have preferred them to stay awake, but only he knew the gravity of the situation and for them, it was like any other night. And they couldn’t keep their eyes open. And so Jesus uttered these well-known words….

 The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41

We’re only human, after all. I feel like I experience the truth of that every single day!

When we’re going through the toughest of times, what we need is our people around us. Not necessarily doing anything or saying anything, just being there. We all need people we can rely on and call on. We all need to be able to ask for help and support. Thank God for friends and family who are there for us – where would we be without them?

 

Look, the hour has come.

This is it.

The wheels are being set in motion for the greatest sacrifice ever made.

Nothing is ever going to be the same again.

From a place of the deepest sorrow, via the most horrific path, will come forth new life and light and victory over death.

But first, that path….