Inspired by Spirit #3: Adopted

I know a fair bit about adoption. I have two birth children and three adopted children. We sometimes joke on that with our birth children, we had no choice. We had to love and care for what we were given. Fortunately, our sons are both amazing! However, with adopted children, you get to choose. In the case of our first two, we fostered them in our home and grew to love them and chose to apply to adopt them so that they could stay with us forever. Our first adopted daughter was nearly three when we adopted her. When we were her foster carers, she called us Helen and Andy. Our boys were calling us Mum and Dad, but she was encouraged not to do that. And then one day, a social worker came and explained to her that she could now call us Mum and Dad. She had no idea what he was talking about! It took a while for it to sink in, but soon, she was calling us Mum and Dad too.

I got in trouble once for saying that the bond between me and my adopted children is different to the one with my birth children. It’s different, yes, but not any less strong. For some people, it’s hard to imagine that you could love someone else’s children as your own. I’m always aware that my adopted kids have another mum out there, and sometimes that makes me sad, but I love them with a fierce passion as anyone who has ever hurt or judged one of my children knows!

When we adopted each one of them, we welcomed them into our forever family. It’s been really tough at times and we’ve had to make some really difficult decisions over the years – including removing my daughter from the home for a while for her safety and ours – but we’ve just been on holiday all together and we can still say ‘We are family’. There are plenty of ‘what ifs’ for our kids. They wonder how different life might have been; they struggle with their identity on occasions; they wonder about where they really fit. But they know that we love them and accept them as they are and will always be there for them.

In the light of that, let’s consider this passage from Galatians –

What I am saying is that as long as an heir is underage, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. The heir is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father. So also, when we were underage, we were in slavery under the elemental spiritual forces of the world. But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. Galatians 4:1-7

Paul uses the Roman practice of adoption to teach us about our relationship with God. Before Jesus came, God’s people lived as heirs who were underage. They were guaranteed an inheritance, but were not able to fully enter into it. They lived by the rules of their father. It was his house, his rules. He knew best and they had to tow the line.

But when Jesus came, everything changed. God made an active choice. He chose each one of us to be part of His forever family. He knew where we’d come from – our background and tradition -, but He brought us into a new reality, a new home, a new family. The Romans understood this. Adoption in this way was not a Jewish concept – the word for adoption only appears in the Bible in Paul’s letters, referring to the Roman practice of adoption. The word is huiothesia, – ‘to formally and legally declare that someone who is not one’s own child is henceforth to be treated and cared for as one’s own child, including complete rights of inheritance.’

That is what God has done for each one of us. He has sent His Spirit into our hearts to bear witness to this adoption, to convince us of our position in His family. We do not need to question our identity, for we now firmly belong in God’s family. His forever family. No one can ever take that away from us. Like my daughter, we can now start calling God ‘Dad’. There’s a new level of intimacy.

The God of the whole universe is my Dad.

And yours.

PS: Sometimes I feel that adoption is seen as a bit weird. It’s not the norm. We don’t know many people who’ve adopted. People can’t get their heads round it. I love that this passage reminds me that adoption is the most natural expression of love in the whole world. If God models it, then I’m happy that I’m part of a family that has embraced adoption too.