Red Tent Thinking – this one’s for the ladies

This time last year, I was in the middle of a different project – one that only lasted 9 months so lightweight in comparison to this one! I was looking at the nine fruits of the spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22, considering a different fruit each month. I would hold one evening a month for my friends to consider the month’s topic. When it came to looking at KINDNESS, things took an interesting turn. Halfway through the evening saw us all sitting on the floor under a red tent made of chairs and a red sheet, like we used to do when we were kids – and discussing periods. As with all the weird and wonderful stuff I do, some embraced it, some were sceptical and some went along with it and soon wiped it from their minds! Which is natural because we are all different and respond differently.

Anyway, having touched on periods in the last blog, I thought I would revisit this topic and share it with you, my wider audience, to see what you think……….so here goes.

There is one time we’re really not kind to ourselves – or to anyone else – one time a month in fact. Are you with me? I’m talking about periods. I’m going to talk about red tent thinking (hence the tent) – it’s pretty ‘out there’ but bear with me…I believe there is good stuff we can learn from this.

It all started with a novel. The New York Times’ best-selling novel ‘The Red Tent’ by Anita Diamant. Which I have not read. It’s loosely based on the Biblical character Dinah and describes a sacred space shared by women while they are menstruating, birthing, and initiating girls into womanhood — the Red Tent. This novel seemed to tap into something for the modern women reading it, a yearning for stories that recognize the power and beauty of being female. (do you feel that yearning? Do you warm to stories about the power and beauty of being female?)

Let’s face it, periods have come to be known as a curse in our modern world. At ‘that time of the month’ we’re more tired, grumpy, hormonal, irritable, drained, miserable, sensitive, uncomfortable. We entertain thoughts of murder, divorce, escape, suicide……(Can you relate to that?)

And yet we’re expected to carry on as if nothing is happening. It’s seen as something to hide, be ashamed of. We don’t talk about what we are going through. We put on a brave face. We don’t want to make a fuss. We don’t want to appear weak. We do not make allowances for each other’s moods and behaviours. Because of all this, mothers often struggle to talk positively about periods to their daughters, if they manage to talk to them at all. We’re embarrassed. We treat it as something awful and unavoidable. Teenagers can’t wait to get on contraception to get rid of periods.

It has not always been this way. In many ancient cultures, a woman’s “moontime” was considered sacred and she took time to rest, renew, and regenerate. Women gathered in “moon huts,” “moon lodges,” or “red tents,” because they often cycled together in harmony with the moon. In these places women nurtured themselves and each other and received dreams to guide their lives and their community, listened to the wisdom of the grandmothers — the post-menopausal ones who came to counsel and support the younger women — and planned the coming of age ceremonies for the girls.

Imagine the relief of taking time out from the chores and responsibilities of daily life at this special time of the month.

Imagine a place where women can find community, tell their stories, and heal, where women can share laughter, songs, food, and honour the unique cycles that we experience.

Imagine overcoming the cultural shame that most women feel about their bodies and reconnecting to the earth and the sacred cycles of nature.

Imagine what a positive role model of female identity that would convey to the girls in our lives.

Imagine being able to celebrate your daughter’s rites of passage and entry into womanhood with grace, ease, and creativity.

Imagine a world where girls will sense the power and beauty of womanhood that awaits them and getting their period will be something they look forward to rather than dread.

Imagine feeling connected to all other women by the invisible thread of our monthly cycles. We are linked to the moon and each other regardless of race, religion, economic status, sexual orientation, or age, because all women bleed, have bled, or will become women who bleed.

Could this make any difference? Could you think about your periods or menopause or stage of life differently? Could we support one another differently?

If you want to know more, google the Red Tent Movement. Wear red or light a red candle during your flow. Be kinder to yourself. Honour your moontime. Join with other women.